cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
