I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
