I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
