So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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