So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
