so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
