I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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