Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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