Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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