Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize