Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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