I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's never too late to be topless.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So apparently I’m into choking now
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