the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize