When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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