party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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