I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
