you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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