Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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