You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.