before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think people are normalizing furries
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
