just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there