No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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