there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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