life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
