I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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