why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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