Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
