My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
