As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize