Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
