How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
