why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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