I smell stomach acid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
