Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
