Can i not drive my cunt home
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
