we're blogging at a bar
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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