Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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