We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs