idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
