I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.