is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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