Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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