Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
