But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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