New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
