I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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