Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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