some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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