It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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