He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
