we have officially lost it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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