somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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