Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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