you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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