I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize