Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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