Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
