My nipple is on Facebook.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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