You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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