I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
