you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
