if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
