If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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