But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
