why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
